haphazard musings

that was weird.

so last night, i was having some real weird dreams.  

perhaps it was the gallon of coke i drank at dinner with my delicious tacos.  or maybe it was the riviting conversation that ensued at seminar in romantic literature.  either way it was a weird night.

so when i was in high school a made a really good friend and when we were freshmen at k-state he was killed by a drunk driver.  he and all my high school friends were in my dream last night - we were laughing and having a wonderful time just like my memories.  i probably haven't even thought about him since graduation until i saw his parents in wichita a few months ago.  

i saw on facebook today that it is his birthday.

for some reason it seems like this is more than a weird coincidence...but i don't know why or what it is.  but if nothing else, i will at least be reminded to pray for his family and to pray that people would make the right/smart decision when they get behind the wheel.

it is also always a good reminder to tell everyone how much i love them!  so all you readers out there...i love you!

some deep thinking

Following means obeying God's call for our family and taking the next step even when it is not spelled out. - Julie @ Breezy Acres Farm

Ugh.  Right.

Julie and her hubby, Ian are lovely people that challenge me each week to grow.  As friends, they truely show us what it looks like to seek fully after God's call for their lives.  And that little blurb from their blog this week, reminded me again what that looks like.

So, I have recently been having a little pity party for myself (never a good idea, but it's really easy to get stuck in one).  I won't go into details, but rather than reaching out and leaning on Jesus, I have been having a pity party.

Not cool.

"even when it's not spelled out..." that's really what gets me.  so even though my plan isn't working out, i have to remember that God has plans for me.  it may feel like this...

i can totally feel Dorothy's delima here...you have to make some choices, but you really want to be way down the path. you know, over the hills and through the woods (if you don't mind my mixed metaphor.)

Dorothy finds guidance in the form of a lovely new friend, the scarecrow.  but luckily, i have a way, way better guide, i just have to remember to ask him.

so instead of having a pity party, i am going to try to embrace what i have right now and learn from the truths that i know.  

we sang this on Sunday and I was really able to clearly hear the message for the first time.

Hungry, I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry

Chorus:
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

so this is me waiting...:)

disillusionment.

as we grew up, people pumped us full of big ideas and an idyllic outlook. an outlook that suggests the world is ours to shape, ours to take, and ours to conquor.  i am often still full of the naieve that optimism.  and i like it. 

but sometimes, what i call positive outlook and others seem to call my 20 something "inexperience" is all but smashed.  and honestly, i expereince a sense of loss. it's like the last little bit of my youth is being chipped away piece by piece as i get more into the system in which we live.

i had to explain it to someone today and i called it disillusionment. 

it's kind of stinky feeling. 

as i was processed though some of those thoughts today, i had a few thoughts that eased my mind:

    i can still put on a skirt that twirls and feel pretty.

    i can read a book and get lost in the story.

    i can go for a run and listen to loud, fun music.

    i can watch a half hour show, where all the problems are solved and everything always turns out happy.

like...."the facts of life"?  i LOVED it.

 

doesn't that theme song just make you happy!?!

 

did you watch

did you watch the super bowl?!?  i hope so, it was a great game!  GO GIANTS!

but in all reality i watch the super bowl for two reasons: food and commercials.

first the food was great, smoked turkey sandwiches.  i probably ate about one pound of turkey - not joking. 

the commercials were a little disappointing.  i think i only laughed outloud twice, which really makes me sad.  but i wanted to brighten up your wednesday and share the two that were my favorite.

the brown m&m...oh man.

 

and the e*trade baby - for real that kid kills me every time.

 

have a happy wednesday!  

i forgot

to set up a couple posts for while we were in Colorful Colorado. :)

we went with fantastic friends and enjoyed wonderful weather and spectacular slopes.

(how's that for alliteration?)

we also enjoyed an extra restful day (after i let go of the fact that it wasn't planned...not easy for me if you didn't know).

  .

at our hotel, you could walk to the starbucks without even going outside...ie i wore my slippers and sweatpants. this was our view Friday morning.  it was super lovely, and very misleading.  if you were outside of downtown without buildings blocking the wind, it was apparently much more blizzard like.

like close all the highways that go east out of denver.

close them for 30 hours kind of blizzard.

it was crazy.  i have never seen snow like that. for real.  i wish it would snow like that here...just once a year.  it's amazing!

here are some other pictures from the trip...mostly taken on my iphone since i kept forgetting my camera.

that my friends is a moose.  he was about 30 feet from our car on the way to the awesome cabin.  we just stopped an watched him and the 30 elk that were wandering on the hillside.  moose (or mooses, what's the plural of that?) are huge!  and apparently he was a small one.

taking a little break, basking in the sun and warming my toes by the fire.  

i always have snow/ice stuck to my left boot.  i can only seem to come to a complete stop with my left foot down the mountain.  for some reason it does not work, at all, on the right side.  just so you know.

on the back side of the mountain at Sol Vista...turns out we got a little lost after that and ended up at a bunch of condos...but worth it for the view!

on the way to the very top of the mountain at Winter Park it was so beautiful and so windy and so cold!

at the very top, not the best picture, but i was getting frost bite on my gloveless hand.

warming up after a long day and enjoying a steaming cup of joe.

one more picture to wrap up this post...

that my friends is the view from the bathroom at the cabin.  i know it's hard to tell in the picture because the blinds interrupt the picture but the view from the bathroom certainly is a bonus in the morning. :)

 

whoops...

i did it again.

ha ha...i didn't even mean to allude to a britney spears song circa 2001.

i just wanted to share with you all that i have once again enrolled myself in a course in which i might just be the stupid one.

as you may recall...a few semesters ago, i sat in my class and nodded uncontrollably and made really unsophisticated comments on the material we were covering.  it may be happening again.

i am now enrolled in Romantic Literature...which may sound sappy and all Jane Austen-y, but let me assure you it is not.  Romantic Lit is a time period from 1780 something to about 1830...and it is all about the politics and freedoms and stuff that went on during that time - like the French Revolution.

it is most definitely NOT about matthew macfadden striding through a dewey morning mist to the whimsical sounds of a masterful pianist playing "mr. darcy's" song...

source

and it most certainly is about...

source

and he, Lord Byron, is just not quite as exciting as he may appear.

nevertheless, i will keep you informed.

why is this so hard?

you know, i think that might be the most asked question in the universe?

i find myself frequently asking this question about many things throughout the day.

why is it so hard to get this printer to print?
why is it so hard to get out of bed in the morning?
why is it so hard to make dinner without creating such a big mess?
why is it so hard to walk up 5 flights of stairs when I can run 2.5 miles?

you get the idea.

so my why is this so hard question for today is:  why is it so hard to think about others?

why is it so hard for us to internalize the plight of others even when the stats speak for themselves?

there are 147,000,000 orphans in the world today.

there are at least 12 million slaves in the world today.

there are 30,000 deaths every week due to lack of clean water in the world today.

and so on and so on...

 

we, Christians, are tasked with doing something about these problems.  right?

so why is it so hard to remember that i am called to do something?

something big or small, something near or something far, just something.

i know the facts.  i know what i am asked to do.  and i think i can answer the question.

 

it is hard to be uncomfortable.  it's hard to choose to think about those things.  it's hard to choose to notice the things that might make you want to change your routine.

you know when i realized that?  well...it was sunday night...at youth group...where i am "supposed" to be the adult that has things figured out. :)  hopefully, i still have the girls at least a little bit tricked into thinking that i have some things figured out.  we have been talking about what we can do in our community and futher to make a difference.  and we were talking about our passions and what we might make it hard to make a difference.  and all the sudden a light bulb moment.

i don't like to be uncomfortable.  i don't like it at all.

so, a new goal...learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

on a clear day

you can no longer see into our shower from the street.

i took this picture standing in the shower and looking out...just fyi. :)

and yes, we store spare toilet paper in our bathtub...it's a giant empty space right...might as well use it efficently.

so we have lived in our house for four years now, and have been saying we need to do something about our super freaky window.  for a while we had a paper accordian blind hanging in there, but it eventually became unsticky and seemed pretty nasty.

so we finally did something about it.

Step 1...clean the window and apply the application solution.

Step 2...put the film on and smooth it out with the handy dandy squegee.

Step 3...trim the edges with the included knife.

Step 4...take new picture!

a forever family

this is from one a blog i follow by a lovely photographer and her filmmaker hubby, formally of ericamay.com

they are passionate about capturing stories, and this one tugs at my heart strings pretty hard.

 

a forever family...how cool.

silly dog

Emily came to visit us over the weekend and Finley really didn't want her to leave.

Or at least he wanted to go with her.  We are pretty sure he realized she was headed to the ranch.  I think it is his favorite place in the world...

ponds to play fetch in...

water to drink that is obviously just for him...

just look at the smile...