so, this is the best one in several days/weeks. hopefully, i haven't already told you this one.
girl student: miss fraiser, do white women get stretch marks?
me: um, wow, (insert girl name), that's a random question. but yes we do.
girl student: can i see them?
me: no. absolutely not.
girl student: but, you would just have to lift your shirt a lit...
me: are you kidding? no stinking way. i wouldn't show you my stomach if i was a super model.
* * * * * * * * *
today, while we were playing a version of apples to apples the adjective to describe was "disgusting." the students had to shout out nouns that started with the letter "w."
girl student shouts: a weave.
me: what?!? how is that disgusting?
same student: some black girl weaves are nasty. i saw one on the way to class. the girl that...
me: ok then. that's probably not where this game should go.
* * * * * * * * * *
in my freshmen classes we are working on reading some Romeo & Juliet - which is just interesting all by itself. but we have been doing some mini research projects on the world and time when Shakespeare wrote his plays.
one group was assigned world history (1550-1650). their basic task was to find some key events, key people and regular life in places like France, Spain, Italy, and the American Colonies.
student: miss frasier, is france in italy?
me: um, no. france is a country.
student: so, then italy is in france.
me (internally): seriously? (outwardy): nope, not quite. italy is also a country. both countries are in europe.
student: oh, so spain is in france.
me: you know, i think this book has a map. perhaps you should check this out...
* * * * * * * * *
student: miss frasier, i left my coffee mug in the lunch room in 5th hour. can i go to the office to see if someone turned it in?
me: no, you need to go to class.
student: but it's my grandma's cup and i was specifically told not to lose it.
me: oh, well, you also have been told that you need to come to class. you haven't been in my class for 2 weeks, you need to go to class.
student: but it's my cup. and i know it's in the office.
me: well, good deal, i'm sure it will be there after school, you can go then.
student: i have to get the bus.
me: the bus leaves at 3:20, that's plenty of time to get to the office and the bus.
student: well, i walk really slowly.
me: guess you'll have to hurry.
student: ugh. this is ridculous.
me (internally): the fact that we are still having this conversation is ridiculous... (outwardly): have a seat.
* * * * * * * * *
student: i won't be able to get that homework done.
me: why not?
student: well i have to work from 4:00 to 7:30 every night this week.
me: oh, well that's not an excuse for not getting your work done.
student: yes, it is an excuse.
me: yes, that's true, it is an excuse. however, it's not an excuse that will get you an extension.
* * * * * * * * *
me: pull out a sheet of paper.
student: you're going to make us work today?
me: yeah...pull out some paper.
student: but it's the first day back after thanksgiving day.
me: oh, right. i forgot about that. pull out a sheet of paper.
* * * * * * * * *
i'm sure there are more. i will keep thinking. :) happy friday!!!
