so we've had some transitions around here lately. and thought you should know how they are going.
transition one: parenthood.
we are loving this - even if she isn't. :)
we are completely overwhelmed and in awe of her.
we are totally and unreservedly and unabashedly in love with her.
we are seeing a completely different side of ourselves.
i am mushy and ridiculous - i can't help but kiss her cheeks 50 times a day.
ryan is completely wrapped around her itty bitty finger - he's in deep folks and we are praying her comes out of it before she actually gets old enough to ask for stuff...
and we never saw ourselves as people who would be those people who turn into gushy, the only thing we talk about is our baby. however, we've totally embraced everything about it! and we talk ceaselessly about her. it's a bit ridiculous. hopefully, it will wear off a little.
but we feel like we are getting a handle on how to not freak out and how to be flexible and how to do life with a baby.
transition two: back to school.
this one was harder and easier than i thought it would be.
i realize that doesn't make much sense, but it's true. i always thought i would be a mom who was totally ready to go back to work after her maternity leave. however, i started dreading the return about halfway through my leave. the first four weeks all i could manage to think about was feeding the baby, sleeping, and healing. the second four weeks, i basically spent my days thinking "we are down to only three mondays...we are down to two mondays..." etc. i cried about it several nights towards the end when i would think about it. when people asked about it in the last couple days before leave was over, i started tearing up without warning. ryan was totally worried that i had fully lost my ability to reason - at all.
in the end, i cried all the way to school on the first day away from my girl. i took my mascara with me and got ready there. :) and then, everything went up from there.
i got to school and everyone was so nice on that first day and so encouraging - even my students.
in each of my classes at least three kids said, "mrs. frasier, we are so SO glad you are back." and then four girl hugs and one really awkward guy side hug before the first bell, i was feeling pretty good about being there. my co-workers are also mostly working moms, too and have been wonderfully encouraging. and now three weeks and a spring break later, i am truly enjoying my job again.
i am still struggling with the balance and how to "do it all", but everyone struggles with that...right?!? i'm not sure how to finish grading all my papers and write lesson plans and still leave as soon as possible after 3:10. i am so eager to see miss maelle, i am completely worthless after the bell rings anyway. i also really haven't figured out how to cook dinner after school either...BUT i really do love teaching.
i love my students.
i love that maelle is at school with me at the daycare at school.
i love the look my students get when they appreciate what we read or they feel confident about what they have written.
i love that i get so excited to pick up my girl after school (and sometimes see her in the middle of the day).
i love that while i feel like i am moving out every time i leave for school and that i may never feel rested again, i feel like, for the moment at least, i have the best of both worlds.
(ie, it's spring break and summer is coming!)